So this blog, the Burbs is pretty funny. There’s a section titled “Overheard in the Burbs” that’s cracking me up tonight. I’ll post a couple, but go check out the rest of them.

Guy 1: You ever think about Joey playing professionally?
Guy 2: Playing what professionally?
Guy 1: Baseball.
Guy 2: (looks across field at rec game) Joey? He’s like the most uncoordinated kid on the team.
Guy 1: (pauses) I’m thinking about that for Jed.
Guy 2: Dave, Jed is the 1 kid less coordinated than Joey.
Guy 1: Maybe in Europe.
Guy 2: They don’t play baseball in Europe. Cuba, Dominican. Have you considered Special Olympics?
— Overheard in: Kiddie Baseball Stands, L.A. —

Guy 1: If you had 1 wish what would it be?
Woman 1: That you’d stop asking me stupid questions. What is wrong with you?

Guy 1: (on cell phone) There’s 4 kinds of beef. No, five.
Guy 1: (fiddles with packages in meat section) Yea, it’s not marked. Premium, something, I can’t read it. I’m tellling you it’s…
Guy 1: (after interruption) I’m not an idiot. What? (shuffles more meat packages)
Guy 1: I’m telling you, it’s not here. (looks more)
Guy 1: Wait. Hold it. (pauses) Sh*t. This is pork, I’m in the pork section.
Guy 1: (after interruption) OK, fine, I am an idiot.
— Overheard in: Supermarket, Madison NJ —